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<title>The Blacktop’s Paved With Pines (because they pine. a lot) by Riley_Sivertsen</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26445895">The Blacktop’s Paved With Pines (because they pine. a lot)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riley_Sivertsen/pseuds/Riley_Sivertsen'>Riley_Sivertsen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Blacktop’s Paved With Pines [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Archive 81 (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Canon, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Falling In Love, How Do I Tag, M/M, Statnick, canon typical dude-bro language, canon typical overuse of ellipses, nicholas doesn't know how to human, no beta we die like sacrificial goats, you think i'm kidding but the transcripts use a LOT of ellipses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:48:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26445895</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riley_Sivertsen/pseuds/Riley_Sivertsen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Things are mostly the same.<br/>Except rather than a man and an eldritch form made of static and teeth going on various adventures, this version tells that story - but about two beings falling in love.</p><p>Part 1 - Static Man and Nicholas in Season 3<br/>Part 2 - Left of the Dial</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Static Man/Nicholas Waters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Blacktop’s Paved With Pines [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1922401</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 01</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Large pieces of dialogue are taken directly from transcripts and I in no way claim to have come up with that awesomeness. My bits are them slowly falling in love and then realizing they've fallen in love, because… Well, because why be self indulgent if it’s not gonna be on brand?</p><p>And yes, my title is a dumbass pun, don't at me!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First meeting.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Nicholas wondered if Christine was also holding her breath, or if she was just better at projecting an image of calm. Thinking about it, the latter was probably true. Christine had always been good at only showing what she wanted people to see. Nicholas never found that balance; he either accidentally revealed too much, or was unable to project anything at all. These were only two out of several reasons why he found it difficult to make friends. Or at least, keep them.</p><p>            A crackling sound seeped into the air. The walls seemed to shake around them though there was no movement. The siblings exchanged a worried look before a dark, ominous voice echoed between the walls.</p><p>            “I am the whisper on the wind! I am the ice of winter’s heart! I am the knife in dreaming! I am here to fill your darkest desires…and to exact my price.”</p><p>            Nicholas and Christine stood shaking, looking around the room for the source of the voice. This had been a mistake, too much of a risk, they should–</p><p>            Laughter cut through the frightening sounds and movements of the room. The walls returned to their proper places as a shape manifested before them.</p><p>“Oh my god; you two are basically children! It is ad<em>orable.</em>” The form chuckled some more. “You looked so scared!”</p><p>            “Uhhh,” Nicholas managed incoherently.</p><p>            “What the hell?” Christine added.</p><p>            “I know, I know, it’s super shitty of me, but dear god, it’s just so funny!”</p><p>            “I…disagree,” Nicholas said.</p><p>            The shape was starting to seem more solid now. Well, solid wasn’t the right word, but they could see all of it now. It was vaguely human-shaped, like a shadow, but made up of that black-and-white snow when the television isn’t working properly. And…were those teeth swirling around inside it?</p><p>            “Come on,” the shape insisted. “’I am here to fill your darkest desires’? That’s like, low-budget sexy vampire movie. The type of movies that really linger on the pause between ‘suck’ and ‘your blood’. I’m talking about shitty Anne Rice, basically.”</p><p>            “Al…right,” Nicholas muttered.</p><p>            “Uhm, kind of funny, I guess?” Christine said, giving her brother a look of deep scepticism. What had they gotten themselves into?</p><p>            “Aw, shit, you got Popeye’s? That’s my jam! What is up!” The shape threw itself onto the chicken and started eating. At least Nicholas assumed it was eating. There seemed to be a lot of teeth in a lot of places… It was hard to tell; it sort of hurt to look directly at it.</p><p>            “And biscuits!” they heard through a mouthful of chicken. “You two are basically saving my life. Oh! I’m Static Man. Hola. Nice to meet you.”</p><p>            “Nicholas Waters,” he said quickly, because now they were following basic social rules again and he knew how to follow those. “Uh, pleasure.”</p><p>            “Yeah, and I’m Christine.” She raised an eyebrow. “Static Man?”</p><p>            “I didn’t pick the name, ok? It’s a <em>dumb</em> name. You look like a static-y ghost made out of teeth, people just yell that out to you. Like you’re slenderman’s dumbass cousin. Don’t even consider your feelings, or whatever.” A brief pause. “So, what’s your deal? I’m guessing this is a Payphone job?”</p><p>            “Yeah,” Christine said. “We’re looking for, uh, protection?”</p><p>            “Cool cool cool, I hear ya.” He sounded like they were on a collage campus discussing next week’s game or something. Totally normal. “So, guys, just as a tip; probably not a great idea to look at me? I’m all non-euclidean and whatever, it gives people a bit of a headache. Just like, look to the side. Seriously, not rude at all. Cool?”</p><p>            “Much appreciated,” Nicholas said sincerely. He appreciated that kind of clarity – it saved him from awkwardly trying to gleam what was acceptable and not.</p><p>            “Yeah, thanks. Uhm, would you actually prefer to be called something else, or –”</p><p>            “Yo, Christine, thanks for asking. That’s really chill of you. But nah, Static Man’s fine.” Static Man have the impression of shrugging. “So, give me the info. Why you guys need protection?”</p><p>            “Well, it appears as if some organization wants us dead,” Nicholas explained. “The Cult? They did something to the doors in our house. We suspect they transformed them so that we’d be trapped inside.”</p><p>            “Oh. Oh, damn! Aleister’s after you guys!” Static Man took a break from chewing on his chicken.</p><p>            “Yeah,” Christine said. “We don’t know too much about him, but we did hear a recording of him.”</p><p>            “You heard his voice on tape? Did he sound anything like...” Static Man’s voice changed and suddenly it was Alistair speaking from his staticy form. “I’m an awful person, guys, just a real garbage human being!”</p><p>            Nicholas stared. “Yes, that’s him exactly.”</p><p>            Christine laughed. “Wait, how’d you <em>do</em> that?”</p><p>            Static Man seemed to brighten at her admiring tone. “Yo, I’m the knife in the dreaming, or whatever. I’ve got <em>mad</em> powers! Listen.” There was a loud static sound and when he spoke again, the voice was all too familiar. “I can’t take a joke! I’m a buzzkill! I look kind of like the lead singer of Grizzly Bear!”</p><p>            “Please stop that,” Nicholas said quickly, before he could even fully process how uncomfortable it made him to hear his own voice.</p><p>            “Fine,” Static Man said instantly, and Nicholas relaxed at the indication this person of static and teeth didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.</p><p>            Of course, his half-sister did not have the same considerations.</p><p>            “Wait, wait, wait, do me, do me!” Chris exclaimed excitedly.</p><p>            “ Christine,” Nicholas chastised, but her enthusiasm at what was essentially a party trick made it difficult not to smile.</p><p>            “Dude, don’t be a buzzkill,” Christine threw back at him.</p><p>            Static Man chuckled, and he sounded genuinely happy about something relatively minor. “Nice one, Christine. Here.” He took a moment to focus, and then… “I’m not a buzzkill, unlike Nick! I just dyed my hair red!”</p><p>            It sounded <em>exactly</em> like her, and Christine broke down laughing. “That’s actually really cool!”</p><p>            “High five?” Static Man asked. “I can actually give high fives, by the way. Try it!”</p><p>             He held out what was almost definitely a hand, and Christine barely hesitated before high-fiving it. The sound of their hands meeting was strange and distorted, but there was no denying that it was, indeed, a high five. Nicholas almost wished he could indulge that kind of small amusement as easily as Christine could.</p><p>            “Uh, I believe we were talking about the person who was trying to murder us?” he said. He felt a little guilty for ruining the merriment, but that was his job, right? He was the person who kept the focus where it needed to be, regardless of whether or not it was appreciated.     </p><p>            “Yeah,” Static Man said, not sounding bothered in the least. “Aleister, total dickhole. Only person I’ve heard of who can connect doors like that. Real asshole move. Kind of a mercenary, though. You mentioned the Cult, you involved in anything big?”</p><p>            “I mean, we’re trying [<em>---~--‘’’***….--- </em>],” Christine replied.</p><p>            “Damn!” Static Man exclaimed. “That is some major shit. The <em>most</em> major shit. I’m impressed!” It sounded like he meant that. “Yeah, if you’re going down that rabbit hole, it’s definitely the Cult. They’re the only ones that would hire Aleister for something like that.”</p><p>            “What are they the cult <em>of</em>?” Nicholas asked. “Why are they after us?”</p><p>            “Just the Cult,” Static Man shrugged. “Bunch of stick-up-their-ass nerds that don’t like people having fun or breaking the laws of reality. Jerks.” He clearly had his own issues with this cult, but it was nice to know he was invested. “But yeah, that’s some major blowback. You guys want some Popeye’s, by the way?”</p><p>            Thrown by the random offer, Nicholas stuttered. “I-I’m alright.”</p><p>            “I’ll have a biscuit,” Christine said almost like a question, but Static Man seemed satisfied enough and handed it over.</p><p>            “Yeah, Popeye’s is the goddamn best,” he said happily. “If you can have one meal when you’re physically manifesting, make it Popeye’s.”</p><p>            “Wait,” Nicholas began before he could stop himself. “Not to get off track, but…I thought this was some sort of curse? Like, part of your…unique makeup?”</p><p>            He felt like Static Man was smiling. “Nah, man, I just really like Popeye’s. I’m not, like, a physical presence all that often, only happens when I’m being recorded, so… Popeye’s.”</p><p>            Only physically existed when he was recorded? Nicholas tried not to let his horror show at this revelation. Static Man seemed so at ease, a natural conversationalist, entirely comfortable; how was he able to be like this? It must be terrifying, living the way he did, relying on others to even exist in the world.</p><p>            “But…that’s not even…” Nicholas swallowed the sympathy he wanted to express, which would probably come across as too familiar, and switched lanes. “There are better fried chicken places! You don’t have to get fast food.”</p><p>            It was a stupid, rude thing to say, but it was too late now.</p><p>            “Nick!” Christine exclaimed.</p><p>            “Sorry,” Nicholas said quickly, grateful to his sister for giving him the chance to apologize. She never hesitated to let him know when he’d said or done something wrong.</p><p>            “No,” Static Man said, waving away their concern. “Like, Popeye’s kind of sucks, and it definitely raises chickens in awful factory farms and definitely exploits their workers and definitely like, helps make our world a capitalist neoliberal nightmare, but like…their biscuits are good. So are their tenders. It’s awful, but it’s good, you know?</p><p>            “Sure, I think I can get that,” Christine agreed, and Nicholas decided not to chime in further on the man’s food choices.</p><p>            “Alright, so… This cult?” he asked instead, getting back on track.</p><p>            “Yeah, bad hombres, powerful dudes; they did this weird shit a few months back that made rituals and stuff harder for everyone. Anyway, that’s who’s after you.”</p><p>            “Alright.” Nicholas took a deep breath. “So, will you be able to offer us protection? Seeing as they’re so powerful.”</p><p>            “Oh hell yeah,” Static Man said without hesitation. “I’m not going to take them down or anything, but like, I can throw the heat off you guys.”</p><p>            “Really?” Christine asked. “And we’d be able to pursue the [<em>---~--‘’’***….--- </em>]?”</p><p>             “Most def,” he replied. “I mean, I wouldn’t go back to wherever the doors were messed with, but other than that, mess with reality as much as you want!”</p><p>            He sounded positively giddy about this. Nicholas wondered if getting to mess with creepy cults was what staticy beings did for fun.</p><p>            “Thank you,” Nicholas said. “Do you have any plan in particular, any way that we can assist?” He didn’t like leaving their fate entirely in someone else’s hands.</p><p>            “Nah, leave it all to me,” Static Man said with unwavering confidence. “I’ll let you know when I’m done. You guys good?”</p><p>            “Uhm, yes,” Christine said.</p><p>            “Noice,” Static Man dropped the remainders of his meal. “I’ll see you in a bit. Peace!”</p><p>            With another loud burst of static that was slightly headache-inducing, Static Man popped out of existence, and the siblings were alone again.</p><p>            Christine asked if Nicholas wanted the rest of the Popeye’s, but he couldn’t really remember if they ate it. He was too busy wrapping his head around the reality of their new acquaintance.</p><p>*</p><p>When Static Man called them later, letting them hear how he convinced the Cult to leave them alone, Nicholas was somewhat uncomfortable with how pleased he was. Static Man was just easy to like, and he was everything Nicholas wasn’t. Comfortable, suave, charismatic… It was difficult not to be drawn in. For a being of static and teeth, he seemed like the most human person Nicholas had ever met, and he wasn’t quite certain how to process that.</p><p>            So for his own sanity, Nicholas simply thanked Static Man, and enjoyed a moment of relief that a fanatical cult was no longer actively trying to destroy them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 02</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A ritual is performed, and two people who don't usually make positive connections, find themselves dangerously close to connecting.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            The feeling in the air was familiar now; not as unnerving as the first time.</p><p>            “I am the whisper–” Static Man cut himself off the moment he fully manifested. “Oh, it’s you guys! Nick and Chris, what the hell is up?”</p><p>            He didn’t sound disappointed to hear from them. That was a good start. Nicholas thought perhaps Static Man was smiling, but with all those teeth in various places, it was hard to tell for sure. At least it was unlikely that he was scowling.</p><p>            “Nothing much, dude,” Christine said. “We got you Popeye’s.”</p><p>            “And Pepsi,” Nicolas added.</p><p>            “Noice!” The shape of Static Man grabbed the wrapping. “Awwww yeah, you got the boneless tenders, too! People always talk shit about boneless, but they’re so <em>good</em>. Especially when you get that Mardi Gras mustard. <em>So</em> good.”</p><p>            Nicholas wasn’t certain he had ever enjoyed anything as much as Static Man enjoyed Popeye’s, but he was pleased that the offer was eagerly received.</p><p>            “Well, enjoy,” Nicholas said awkwardly.</p><p>            “So, is the cult bothering you again?” Static Man asked around a mouth full of chicken. Possibly several mouths full. “I was pretty sure they wouldn’t be a problem anymore. Aleister’s a lazy asshole, but like, my bad.”</p><p>            “Not at all,” Nicholas assured quickly. “Aside from the slightly too talkative front desk attendant, everything in the motel’s going swimmingly.”</p><p>            “So…?”</p><p>            “Oh, we just thought you might, you know, like to have some downtime,” Christine filled in. There was a moment of stunned, staticky silence.</p><p>            “Really?” Static Man asked.</p><p>            “If you’re busy, we wouldn’t want to keep you,” Nicholas said,” but, yes. We appreciate you helping us, and… You enjoy Popeye’s, so…”</p><p>            “Yeah, dude,” Christine added. “Thanks.”</p><p>            There was silence for a moment, and Static Man seemed to shine a little brighter. “That’s really goddamn sweet of you guys! Thank you.”</p><p>            Nicholas felt guilty about his ulterior motives, but there really were two parts to this; he genuinely wanted to see Static Man again. His enthusiasm was infectious.</p><p>            “So, what do you do for fun around here, when you’re not messing with powerful forces beyond mortal understanding?” Static Man asked.</p><p>            “The messing with powerful forces takes up most of our time, actually,” Nicholas said.</p><p>            “I’m halfway through a re-watch of Adventure Time,” Christine said, because of course she did.</p><p>            “That show’s so good!” Static Man exclaimed, and for a moment the two of them gushed about their favourite characters while Nicholas waited awkwardly for it to pass.</p><p>            “Nick, how about you?” Static Man asked. Nicholas nearly flinched in surprise. He wasn’t usually asked about popular culture.</p><p>            “I’m not much of a fan, I’m afraid,” he admitted, and wracked his brain for anything media-related he could actually talk about. “I did enjoy Over the Garden Wall, though.”</p><p>            Static Man’s enthusiasm didn’t waver for a second. “I need to check that out, I hear really good things.”</p><p>            “It is lovely,” Nicholas said, wondering not for the first time at how naturally Static Man made conversation. “How about yourself?” Nicholas tried. “Uh, what do you do in your off time?”</p><p>            “Eh…I don’t really have much off time, my dude. Don’t really exist when I’m not being recorded, so…”</p><p>            Nicholas felt like the scum of the earth for asking, but Static Man was quick to change the subject.</p><p>            “You still on the hook for Payphone?”</p><p>            “Yeah,” Christine replied. “Apparently we’ll find out…<em>sometime.</em>” She did not disguise her annoyance.</p><p>            “Ooof, yeah, I don’t envy you two there.” Static Man said. “Hmm…” He was probably about to say something more when Christine started to gag.</p><p>            “Oh, goddamnit,” she grunted before doubling over. Nicholas instantly went to pull her short hair out of the way, just in case.</p><p>            “Yo, she ok?” Static Man asked.</p><p>            “It’s part of the [<em>--~-‘’’**….-- </em>] ritual,” Nicholas explained.</p><p>            “Damn… What’s with the seawater?”</p><p>            “We’re not sure.”</p><p>            Finally it was over, and Christine coughed up the last traces of water in her throat. “Ugh, there were three this time?” she exclaimed. “Why were there three this time?!”</p><p>            “You feeling good?” Static Man asked. “How’s your throat?”</p><p>            “I’m fine,” Christine croaked out, clearly not fine.</p><p>            “Sorry, Chris.” Nicholas hated that this burden was on his sister. “And I’m not sure why there were three this time.”</p><p>            “Well, we don’t have to listen to them now,” Chris said. “We can finish up dinner.”</p><p>            “That’s…probably not the best idea,” Static Man said.</p><p>            “Are you sure?”</p><p>            “It’s best not to wait around for this type of stuff. Personal experience. But…” Static Man considered. “Yo, can I see the recorder?”</p><p>            Nicholas wondered if it was strange that he didn’t hesitate. “Uhm, alright.”</p><p>            “Now…” Static Man held the tape recorder. There was a magical, loud splitting sound. Static Man now held <em>two </em>tape recorders.</p><p>            “What the…” Christine muttered.</p><p>            “That-that’s integral to the ritual! What did you–” Nicholas felt about to faint.</p><p>            “Relax,” Static Man said. “I split it. Now you have <em>two </em>recorders! At least for a little bit. Like I told ya last time, I’ve got weird magical powers.”</p><p>            “But…why?” Nicholas asked.</p><p>            “You can <em>do </em>that?” Christina asked at the same time.</p><p>            “I mean, I just did, so,” Static Man shrugged. “Anyway, one of you should probably stay here and listen to the tapes. The other one…” He snapped his fingers and it looked like power surged through his static body, making the teeth rattle. “<em>I hereby invoke the right of service”</em> he said in a weird voice, before he shook it off. “The other one gets to come with me; I just brought up your contract.”</p><p>            The siblings stared at him in confusion.</p><p>            “You just gonna stand there, or?” Static Man asked.</p><p>            “Uh, I apologize,” Nicholas said. “I’m not quite sure what happened.”</p><p>            “You no longer owe a favor to Payphone,” he replied cheerily. “You owe a favor to <em>me. </em>Which I’m collecting now, by getting one of you to bring one of those recorders and come with me. Pretty simple.”</p><p>            “Thank you,” Christine said after another brief silence.</p><p>            “Ehh, thank me later,” Static Man said. “The favour’s going to be legit.”</p><p>            “Don’t we both have to listen to the tapes?” Nicholas asked. “That was the impression I was under.”</p><p>            “Nah, just has to be one of you,” Static Man replied. “Trust me.”</p><p>            The pause stretched out a bit longer this time as they both considered.</p><p>            “I’ll go with Static Man,” Nicholas finally said.</p><p>            “Nick, you sure?” Christine asked, with all the notes of a concerned sister. “I mean, it’s kind of your turn for a weird magical adventure, but–”</p><p>            “I <em>want </em>to do it,” Nicholas said without hesitation. “I have to see this through. You just stay here and listen.”</p><p>            “Yeah dude,” Christine accepted. “If that’s what you’re feeling.”</p><p>            “Awesome,” Static Man said. “I’m going to write an address on a slip of paper. Tell the door dude that you’re friends with Ann Jemisin. Start recording when you get there.”</p><p>            “Understood,” Nicholas said. He held the piece of paper like it was as important as a tape for the ritual.</p><p>            “Awesome,” Static Man repeated. “This should be dope. Peace!”</p><p>            And he fizzled out of existence.</p><p>*</p><p>            Static Man manifested to find Nicholas in the apartment, fiddling nervously with a tape recorder.</p><p>            “Hey dude,” Static Man greeted him. To his credit, Nicholas didn’t jump.</p><p>            “Uhm, hello,” he said. “So…you have a lovely apartment.”</p><p>            It wasn’t the first time Static Man noticed how Nicholas clung to polite classics whenever he wasn’t sure what to say. It was kind of cute.</p><p>            Static Man chuckled. “Dude, it’s not mine. I mean, kind of? Technically it belongs to this Wall Street dipshit, but she’s never around, or…like, she’s <em>around</em>, time just moves super slowly for her, or whatever. Still pays rent, though. Anyway…” It was a pretty decent situation, all things considered. Static Man then noticed the pile of food on the dining table. “Aw, shit! What’d you bring?”</p><p>            He could have sworn Nicholas’s ears went a little red. “Oh, uh, a takeout order from Charles’, and some Popeye’s just in case you weren’t into it.”</p><p>            That was…significantly more effort than people normally put in for Static Man. “Hell yeah, I’ll try something new.” He jumped at the new stuff. “This is pretty good! Not Popeye’s, but it’s good.”</p><p>            “I’m glad you like it,” Nicholas said, and sounded genuinely, if shyly, pleased. “So…did you invite me over here to talk? I completely understand if you–”</p><p>            “Nah, this is something legit,” Static Man assured him. Not that he would mind seeing what just hanging out and talking to Nicholas would be like – he seemed like a decent dude –but this wasn’t the time. “Ok, so, this is probably going to look a little bit weird. It’s best if you look away.”</p><p>            “Alright,” Nicholas said, and turned without further questions.</p><p>            Static Man began the process of producing a tape out of his own body. It was very unpleasant.</p><p>            “Ugh, that feels like I’m giving birth. I <em>do not</em> like it.”</p><p>            Nicholas turned back and looked at the floor. “That’s…a tape.”</p><p>            “Yeah, dude. Play it.”</p><p>            “Oh, of course.” Nicholas snapped to action and picked up the tape, but hesitated as he put it into the player. “Are you sure you want me to listen to it? Uh, or-“</p><p>            “Dude, I only exist when I’m being recorded and observed, so like, yeah. I can only <em>actually</em> hear it if you’re with me.”</p><p>            “Yeah, alright.” Nicholas nodded and started the tape. He seemed more than a little nervous, which was interesting. You’d think he was used to listening to random tapes by now.</p><p>            What followed was a very unpleasant experience. They both listened as an unfortunate Payphone caller refused to answer a question honestly and was forced to carve off their own leg. The screams and whimpering were difficult to listen to, but Static Man was impressed by how Nicholas schooled his impression into a more passive mask, when he was clearly uncomfortable.</p><p>            At the end of the tape, they heard the caller crawl out of the booth.</p><p>            “Have a pleasant day,” Payphone said, and they heard vague sounds of the severed leg being retrieved. The tape ended.</p><p>            “Well,” Nicholas said, swallowing. “I’m glad I didn’t lie.”</p><p>            “Play it back,” Static Man requested.</p><p>            “All of it?”</p><p>            “Just the last part. From the door closing.”</p><p>            “Alright.”</p><p>            Nicholas did as he was asked. They listened to the door closing and the leg swishing down some sort of chute. Nothing else.</p><p>            “Again,” Static Man said.</p><p>            Same thing. No barely detectable sound that blew the whole case wide open. Nothing subtle that suddenly tied everything together. Frustration made all his teeth rattle.</p><p>            “Static Man?” Nicholas asked carefully.</p><p>            “Nothing!” he exclaimed. “Not one goddamn thing. Damnit! Stupid, idiot, goddamn… shit.” He couldn’t think of more insults to hurl at himself, but that didn’t make him less mad.</p><p>            “Are you…alright?” Nicholas said softly, like he was afraid of saying the wrong thing and making things worse. Static Man was too upset for things to get worse.</p><p>            “They fuck us over!” he shouted. “You know that, right?”</p><p>            “Who?”</p><p>            “The… the assholes,” Static Man wildly gesticulated with his not-arms. “Everyone with power. It’s a goddamn rigged system. You think you’re going to get lucky, but you just aren’t and even if you do, you turn into one of them.”</p><p>            The silence stretched on for a while as Static Man felt teeth swirling in little storms inside his form. He hated these moments, moments where the reality of his fate and situation were impossible to ignore with a happy-go-lucky attitude and denial.</p><p>            “I’m sorry,” Nicholas said eventually, almost painfully sincere. “I don’t quite know what to say.”</p><p>            Dammit, it wasn’t fair to take his anger out on Nick. “Yeah. Whatever. It just sucks.”</p><p>            “What were you listening for?” Nicholas asked tentatively.</p><p>            “I’m trying to find the…call centre or whatever. Wherever the Payphone system’s actually located. I was hoping that…” It all sounded pretty lame when he said it out loud. “I don’t know, Payphone records everything, I was able to get a couple of calls...”</p><p>            Nicholas nodded in realization. “You thought there would be some clue as to where it was located?”</p><p>            “Yeah. It wasn’t a really good plan.”</p><p>            “I’m sorry.” Again, Nicholas sounded so genuine in his apology.</p><p>            “Not your fault, dude,” Static Man said quickly. He was eager to move on, distract from the feeling of failure. “It was a dumb idea. I’m down to watch Over The Garden Wall with you, if you’d be into that?”</p><p>            “Wait, why do you want to find the call centre?” Nicholas asked.</p><p>            “Standard stuff,” Static Man said. “Kill whatever it is, get my body back, actually exist in the world. Dude, it’s ok, I’ll figure something out eventually.”</p><p>            He waited as Nicholas seemed to be thinking something through.</p><p>            “Would you consider the call centre your primary foe?” he asked.</p><p>            “Primary…foe?” Not a phrasing he used a lot. “I mean… sure? I guess.”</p><p>            “Are you certain? It can’t be a guess.” He sounded authoritative now, more self-assured, like they were finally in a territory he felt secure in.</p><p>            “Yeah. Yeah, dude. What are you thinking?”</p><p>            “If I had a ritual to locate the call centre, would you be interested in performing it?”</p><p>            Static Man stared at him. If he had a mouth, it would be gaping. “Dude, are you kidding me? Of course! Like, I would owe you for<em>eve</em>r.”</p><p>            “Perfect. Do you mind if I get started?”</p><p>            Like Static Man was the one doing <em>him </em>the favor here.</p><p>            “Yeah dude!” Static Man exclaimed, not quite believing his luck. “Start recording when you’re all ready.”</p><p>            “Wonderful,” Nicholas replied, and he really did sound pleased that he could offer his help. Static Man let himself be wowed for one more second before the tape recorder clicked off and he faded into non-existence.</p><p>*</p><p>            The bull’s head was unexpected, but not surprising. He’d seen weirder.</p><p>            “Essentially,” Nicholas explained, “we each stand in those salt circles opposite each other. We tell each other secrets and move towards the centre; once we’ve each moved through three salt circles… You’ll know where your enemy is.”</p><p>            “Sounds pretty alright,” Static Man nodded. “What secrets do we have to tell?”</p><p>            “Let me get this exactly.” Nicholas skimmed the notes in his hand and started to read. The secrets were…intense. Static Man couldn’t quite believe that Nicholas was agreeing to do this – had even initiated it! It was a lot.</p><p>            “Shit, dude,” he said. “And I’m guessing they can’t be, like, minor?”</p><p>            “No,” Nicholas confirmed.” Also, if one of us intentionally breaks the salt circle, they’re granted a minor boon, and the other person dies.”</p><p>            Way to bury the lead, Static Man thought. “Well, shit!”</p><p>            “Do you want to go through with this?”</p><p>            “I mean…Man, dude. That’s heavy as hell. I hate to ask, but…”</p><p>            “I wouldn’t,” Nicholas assured him quickly.</p><p>            “Yeah, man, obviously I wouldn’t either,” Static Man agreed. “But…”</p><p>            This was big, you know? Surely it wasn’t the kind of thing Nicholas just went around doing for strangers out of the goodness of his heart. But he seemed so sincere. Even now, he was asking if <em>Static Man </em>wanted to go through with it, like it wasn’t even something he needed to consider for himself. Nicholas wasn’t exactly a dude who talked a lot or expressed a whole lot of his inner workings, but… There was something about him, beneath the practiced good manners and general awkwardness.</p><p>            “I trust you.” Static Man said. Was it weird that he meant that? It felt weird. But also…not? “Do you trust me?”</p><p>            For a moment, Nicholas looked directly at him, even though it had to hurt. He looked right at Static Man, and he said <em>yes</em>. It felt…significant, somehow. Other than his sister, Static Man didn’t get the impression that Nicholas Waters trusted a whole lot of people.</p><p>            “Hell yeah, then,” he said. “Let’s do this shit. Do we just stand…?”</p><p>            “The furthest circle,” Nicholas instructed. “I’ve made sure they go from North to South. And since it’s your enemy, you begin.”</p><p>            “Okay,” Static Man got into position. “What was the first one again? Just want to be absolutely clear.”</p><p>            “A damaging secret someone has entrusted to you.”</p><p>            “OK, OK, uhm, do you have to know the person?”</p><p>            “No.”</p><p>            Well, that made it easier. “Natalia Lecky cheated on Vincent with this one dude at theatre camp. Happened in High School, but she and Vincent are still married, and he’s super shitty about stuff like that so…it’s damaging. Sorry, I know a lot of heavy shit, but not a lot of people <em>entrust</em> me with it, it just happens.”</p><p>            “I think that works,” Nicholas nodded. “Move forward to the next circle.”</p><p>            “Oh, yeah.” He felt like that first one was easy. He was more than a little nervous about the other ones.</p><p>            Nicholas’s turn.</p><p>            “When Chris was seventeen, someone at a party she was attending got alcohol poisoning. Chris should have called an ambulance, but she was scared, and thought that they’d be fine. They died later that night. It was a big party, and she pretended like she didn’t know anything…but she’s been feeling guilty about it ever since.”</p><p>            He stepped forward to the next circle, but even with his face to the floor, his guilt was impossible to miss.</p><p>            “Wow. Shit. Would she be cool with you telling me this?” Static Man asked.</p><p>            “I’m not sure. But she was seventeen; it shouldn’t affect your opinion of her. I…” Nicholas swallowed. “I haven’t been entrusted with that many secrets.”</p><p>            Static Man heard everything he didn’t add to that statement. That he’d never had a lot of friends. Had never been well-liked enough for anyone to share significant things with him. It made Static Man strangely sad to think that so few people had gotten to know Nick, given him a proper chance.</p><p>            “Yeah. I hear ya,” he said quietly. “What’s next?”</p><p>            “A secret that will make the other think less of you.”</p><p><em>            Here we go,</em> Static Man thought. This had the potential to go very badly. The knowledge of what would happen if one of them broke the salt circle… He pushed the thought away. He trusted Nicholas; he wouldn’t do that.</p><p>            “I’d ask you not to be mad at me, but…”</p><p>            “That’s the point,” Nicholas agreed.</p><p>            “Yeah. And, you know I do some…not great stuff, for my job, so…” He felt the teeth make an uncomfortable lump in the centre of his being. “About a year before this all happened,” he gestured to his own form, “I was sleeping with this total Hermione. Wait, do you know what a Hermione is?”</p><p>            “No,” Nicholas said, his expression impassive.</p><p>            “Someone who’s read way too much J.K. Rowling and thinks magic is all Chosen One fun-times. Anyway, I kind of…She thought that I was going to show her mystical secrets or whatever, and she thought that we were in a <em>relationship</em>. I didn’t…<em>lie</em> to her, but I didn’t want to stop having sex, so I just…dodged her questions and led her on. I thought it was ok if I didn’t actually vocally lie, you know? But, looking back… If she kept up with the whole mystical adventure shit, she’s probably dead by now. Yeah, it’s not…I regret it, OK?”</p><p>            “I think that counts,” Nicholas said after a brief silence. “You can move forward to the next circle.”</p><p>            Shit, he really didn’t like the idea of Nicholas thinking he was some kind of… “You don’t–” he started to ask, but was cut off.</p><p>            “No,” Nicholas said quickly. “Everyone’s done awful things.”</p><p>            Nicholas looked like he’d rather be swallowed by the earth than say his next secret. If Static Man knew where his heart was, he thought it might do some weird shit at the knowledge that Nicholas was doing this uncomfortable just to help him out.</p><p>            “My turn,” Nicholas said with a deep breath. “When Mom was dying, she begged me to fly out and visit her, but I kept putting it off. Making excuses. She died and she never got to say goodbye to me. I…knew it would be painful for me to see her, so I decided not to go.”</p><p>            Nicholas swallowed a few times, composing himself before he looked back up. And things were really just about to get worse, huh?</p><p>            “Wow,” Static Man said. “Shit, stuff like that is hard, but…”</p><p>            “Everyone’s done awful things,” Nicholas repeated. He probably repeated that to himself a lot. “Your turn. A secret that has the potential to cause the other genuine emotional harm.”</p><p>            Static Man dreaded this one most of all. Nicholas was doing this incredible thing trying to help him and…he deserved better than this. But it was part of the deal, right?</p><p>            “Ok, so. Don’t hate me, <em>but</em>…I’m not sure if the double recorder thing will work.”</p><p>            “What?” Nicholas asked slowly, like he needed a second to register the words.</p><p>            “Splitting up the recorders. I know I said I was sure, and it could work, it <em>could</em>… But you might have to listen to the tapes together. It’s…up in the air. Sorry, dude, I. –”</p><p>            Nicholas didn’t look hurt so much as he looked…scared. “We could have waited!” he exclaimed. “Listening to those tapes would take, what, like, fifteen minutes? You can’t wait fifteen minutes? You could have ruined everything because you–”</p><p>            “I– I have no idea if you’re going to call me again, ok?” Static Man shouted back before he could stop. He sounded just as afraid as Nicholas. “I didn’t… The pauses in existence? They’re goddamn terrifying. I just…it’ll probably work. Don’t break the salt thing, ok? Please?”</p><p>            He hated the desperation in his own voice, but he also hated the brief flicker of hurt in Nicholas’ dark eyes at the suggestion he might break the circle. Nicholas got it under control quickly, though, and Static Man wondered if maybe he imagined it.</p><p>            “Move to the next circle,” he said, voice raspy with whatever emotion he tried to bury. “My turn.”</p><p>            Static Man did as he was told, and his nerves returned. <em>Cause the other genuine emotional harm</em>. Did Nicholas have the power to do that?</p><p>            “When Christine and I invited you to our motel earlier,” Nicholas began, and Static Man’s not-stomach was already dropping. “It was partly because we enjoy your company. But it was also because we thought you could be a useful ally. You might have information on Payphone’s request. And if you liked us, you’d be able to help us out.”</p><p>            Static Man fought to not change his form, to drift apart into a shapeless cloud of static. “You don’t–”</p><p>            “We do enjoy your company!” Nicholas said, with so much urgency that Static Man thought it might send him flying across the room.</p><p>            How was he supposed to feel about that? It’s not like he could fucking doubt the sincerity in Nicholas’s voice, but shit, it was still harsh.</p><p>            “You can be friends with someone you want to use,” Nicholas added quietly.</p><p>            “Well. I guess it worked out for you,” Static Man said, and he couldn’t fight the bitter tone in his voice.</p><p>            Nicholas took a step forward. “Congratulations,” he said. “We’ve completed the ritual.”</p><p>            “How does this–” Static Man started to ask, but he was cut off by a gasping, wheezing voice that suddenly sprung out of – of all things – the bull’s head.</p><p>            “<em>Brooklyn Navy Yards, Old Union Building, Lot C</em>.”</p><p>            They both said nothing as they stared at the severed head.</p><p>            “I suppose that explains the bull’s head,” Nicholas said.</p><p>            “Why is it still…gasping?” Static Man asked.</p><p>            “I’m not sure.”</p><p>            “Well,” Static Man said with renewed energy. “I’m gonna put it in the freezer. Wall Street dipshit will shit herself.”</p><p>            “You need help?” Nicholas offered as Static Man moved the head.</p><p>            “Nah, dude.”</p><p>            Once the head in the freezer, Static Man turned to Nicholas. He again looked directly at him in a way Static Man usually advised people against. “Are we…Ok?”</p><p>            “I think so,” Nicholas replied, sounding just as insecure. “I didn’t break the circle.”</p><p>            “Yeah,” Static Man said. If he was being honest, he never thought Nicholas would <em>really</em> do that to him.</p><p>            Nicholas opened his mouth, and closed it again. Static Man waited patiently for him to get his thoughts in order.</p><p>            “I realize that I can be a bit…calculating,” Nicholas finally admitted. “I’m not the best at reading people, and it’s easier to focus on my own needs because I can understand them. But that doesn’t mean I don’t…want to watch Over the Garden Wall with you.”</p><p>            Then the corner of his mouth pulled up in a sweet, shy little smile that sent Static Man’s teeth clattering like morbid little butterflies.</p><p>            “Yeah,” Static Man said quickly. “Sorry about the twin recorder things. It was shitty of me.” He turned to the bull’s head in the freezer and shut the door on it. “Goodbye, weird, semi-alive cow’s head.”</p><p>            As Static Man hovered back towards Nicholas, the silence between them grew more comfortable than not. Neither of them seemed to want to break it, but inevitably, they did.</p><p>“If you’d like, I could look up the Her,” Nicholas offered. “The woman you told me about. We could find out what happened to her.”</p><p>            Static Man tried to blatantly ignore the way his not-heart not-beat a little faster at the suggestion. He tried, but he wasn’t that successful. “Thanks for offering. But, I’d prefer not to know.”</p><p>            “I understand,” Nicholas said, and there really was no judgment his words, and Static Man just knew that Nicholas wouldn’t bring up the topic again.</p><p>            “I’ll look up where the navy yard union building is,” Nicholas continued, like none of them had mentioned anything else. “Prepare a bit.”</p><p>            “Yeah,” Static Man replied. “Start recording when you get there.”</p><p>            “Alright.”</p><p>            Static Man couldn’t quite look away from Nicholas for the few seconds before the tape clicked off.    </p><p>*</p><p>            Nicholas watched as Payphone sputtered one last breath. Every word she’d said dug its way into Nicholas’s heart and he hated her for tormenting Static Man like that.</p><p>
  <em>            Arthur. Don’t call me Arthur. </em>
</p><p>            Nicholas promised himself to try and remember that.</p><p>            Static Man seemed to be staring down at what remained of Payphone’s hearts, and Nicholas was struck by the very rear urge to initiate touch. He wanted to offer some reassurance to Static Man; anything that might help.</p><p>            “Goddamnit. Goddamnit!” Static Man’s form seemed to fizzle smaller than usual, like the hurt and the anger literally drained him. “No, no, why am I… She’s lying,” he muttered. “She has to be, she has to be goddamn lying! There’s got to be, some way…”</p><p>            His words trailed off, but the pain clung to the air around him.</p><p>            “Perhaps…” Nicholas tried, his voice dry. “We could find a ritual.”</p><p>            “Turn the goddamn recorder off,” Static Man snapped. “Just…turn it off!”</p><p>            Static Man tried to sound angry, but he just sounded desperate and broken. If, just this once, non-existence could offer Static Man some comfort, then Nicholas wasn’t going to try and argue.</p><p>            “Alright,” he said quietly, and hit the button.</p><p>*</p><p>            When he appeared in the motel later, both siblings looked surprised, but not disappointed. That was kinda nice.</p><p>            “Hey,” Nicholas said, sounding carefully pleased. “I didn’t think you’d be back.”</p><p>            “Yeah,” Static Man said.</p><p>            “Everything ok?” Christine asked.</p><p>            “Everything’s fine. I’m kind of unemployed right now, but… I’ll find something. Enough people know how to request me.”</p><p>            “I’m sorry,” Christine said, sounding as sincere as her brother. Guess caring was a family trait that had apparently skipped a couple of generations.</p><p>            “Well, my boss was kind of the worst, so.”</p><p>            “I understand.” Christine offered him a small, sad smile.</p><p>            “You’ll be ok?” Nicholas asked after a moment of silence. He asked it very softly, like he genuinely worried about the answer. It reminded Static Man why he was here.</p><p>            “Yeah. I just wanted to say…whatever happened… Thank you. I don’t know if you’re a good guy, but you’re a good friend, so… Whatever you need, you know my number.”</p><p>            It sounded kinda pathetic, but it was the best Static Man could express. He wasn’t used to gratitude; he hadn’t had anyone to be grateful to in a long time.</p><p>            “Thanks,” Nicholas said, and for one more time he looked directly at Static Man, even though it had to be hurting his head. He looked like Static Man had just called him a fucking hero and handed him the keys to the city.</p><p>            Maybe Static Man wasn’t the only one who wasn’t used to making positive connections with people.</p><p>            “Yeah,” Static Man said. “Peace.”</p><p>            And he let himself dissipate into static dust.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 03</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Interractions in the build-up to Nicholas and Chris's main event. And the aftermath.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Static Man wasn’t sure he liked the relief he felt when he surged back into existence and found Chris and Nicholas waiting for him again. He knew he shouldn’t let himself trust or even <em>like</em> anyone, but he couldn’t quite help the way his mood peaked when he saw them.</p><p>            “Oh, hey dudes! That didn’t take long.”</p><p>            “You know us,” Chris said. “Compulsive as hell.”</p><p>            “Awww, man, are those biscuits fresh?” Static Man asked when he noticed the bounty on the side table. He wasted no time chugging down.</p><p>            “We had them delivered,” Nicholas said, and then dryly added, “Late period capitalism is wonderful.”</p><p>            “I’m all about that gig economy,” Static Man chuckled.</p><p>            “You doing alright?” Chris asked after a short hesitation. “Nicholas told me what happened.”</p><p>            “It really, really, <em>really </em>sucks,” Static Man replied. “<em>But</em>…I probably would have killed Payphone even if I wasn’t going to get my body back. And being static-y isn’t completely bad. Still miss my, you know, genitals, but…</p><p>            “Uh,” Chris stuttered, and Nicholas went very red.</p><p>            “Yeah, so I just got to be on the hunt for a ritual that gives me my body back,” Static Man’s form did something like a shrug. “Or lets me grow a new one. Or lets me possess someone, get Linda Blair’s body. If you two aren’t too busy after you finish [<em>--~-‘’’**….--</em>] I’ll probs ask you for some help.”</p><p>            “We would be amenable to that,” Nicholas said with so little hesitation that it made Static Man’s teeth clatter shakily. He was <em>not </em>going to address that right now.</p><p>            “Cool! So what’s up?”</p><p>            “Would you have any idea how to locate Melody Pendras?” Nicholas asked.</p><p>            “Shit,” he asked. “You trying to kill her?”</p><p>            “No!” Chris said quickly. “We just need to ask her a couple questions.”</p><p>            “Like, ‘ask her a couple questions’ and maybe she gets out with all her fingers intact or…?”</p><p>            “We have no intention of harming her,” Nicholas assured.</p><p>            “Probably a good idea.” Static Man didn’t like their odds of making it out of an interaction like that with all the same pieces. “Yeah, no idea where Melody is.”</p><p>            “Well shit,” Chris muttered.</p><p>            “However…Give me that iPhone.”</p><p>            Static Man was able to get through to Alexa Pendras – she was <em>not</em> thrilled to hear from him, but she did agree to pass on the message to Melody, once they mentioned Dan.</p><p>            Static Man followed her instructions and deleted the number instantly before handing the phone back to Chris.</p><p>            “You think Melody will want to meet with us?” she asked.</p><p>            “Yeah, dude, if your weird monster godhead said it’s the next step, it’s the next step.”</p><p>            “What did you do for Alexa, by the way?” Nicholas asked curiously.</p><p>            “What I always do,” Static Man replied. “Stop people from bothering other people. Anyway, peace dudes, I’m gonna jet. Keep your eye out for, like, a possession ritual?”</p><p>            “Will do,” Chris said, and Nicholas actually gave him a reassuring smile. He hadn’t seen Nicholas really smile before, not one that wasn’t awkward or sarcastic or so shy it was too small to really notice.</p><p>            This smile momentarily chipped away the responsibilities, burdens and anxieties he seemed to drag along with him, and turned Nicholas into a regular twenty-seven-year old who was just happy to help out his friend. He looked…</p><p>            Well, <em>fuck it</em>, he looked beautiful. Even with that ridiculous moustache.</p><p>            Static Man refused to dwell on that thought, and let the prickling air suck him back into non-existence.</p><p>*</p><p>            Stupid Payphone and stupid bargain.</p><p>
  <em>            See something you are not supposed to.</em>
</p><p>            Wonderful.</p><p>            Nicholas had no idea where he was, but he wasn’t in Melody’s home anymore. He couldn’t even hear Chris or Melody now. It was just stone floor and white nothing. He couldn’t do anything except follow Melody’s advice and just…walk.</p><p>            He tried swallowing down his fear, but being lost and alone terrified him, and it was staying calm was challenging. He couldn’t even be sure what he was looking at, and his footsteps echoed too loud in his ears. Everything was white and bright but…there were also shapes? Like he was in the middle of a moving crowd, except he couldn’t see or hear anyone properly. It was…uncomfortable.</p><p>            Eventually some of the voices got louder, fuzzy and strange but he could hear words. Words coming from an old-looking radio that he couldn’t touch or pick up no matter how much he tried, and then [<em>everything spun around and he was in…an office? He couldn’t really tell. But he could see a shape at a desk, talking angrily into a phone, and he could hear the shape’s voice</em>.]</p><p>            “You’re stuck in a liminal space, correct?” it asked him impatiently.</p><p>             “I…believe so?”</p><p>            “Wonderful,” the voice said. He couldn’t tell where it came from anymore, but he recognized it.</p><p>            It was <em>his</em> <em>own</em> voice. Only much more malicious than he had ever thought himself.</p><p>            “You know, I have other obligations,” Alternate-Him continued. “I can’t simply drop everything to cater to your every <em>whim</em>.”</p><p>            “I wasn’t expecting you to–”</p><p>            “You were though, weren’t you?” Alternate-Him interrupted angrily. “Always expecting everyone to save you. Even if it seems like it’s all about you, it isn’t. Not really.”</p><p>            “What do you mean?” Nicholas asked, confused.</p><p>            “<em>Please</em>,” Alt-Nick sighed. “Stop talking.</p><p>            Nicholas stayed silent.</p><p>            “Thank you<em>,</em>” said the frustrated one. “Now, you should probably get moving.”</p><p>            [<em>The space around them listened.</em></p><p><em>            The universe spun and twirled around him, until Nicholas landed hard and painfully on the floor – at least, it felt like a floor.</em>]</p><p>            “Hello?” asked into the bright nothing. “Is anyone…” He trailed off. Was that music? Cello?</p><p>He tried to walk closer to it. He could tell a human shape sat near him, but he couldn’t really see them properly. “Hi, I’m a bit lost, and…”</p><p>            The music stopped. “Oh,” said the shape. I did not see you. I apologize.”</p><p>            Nicholas recognized the familiar tone of someone who was unsure how to talk to people without messing up. It made him a little less scared.</p><p>            “No, no, it’s fine,” he assured. “Can you…tell me where I am?”</p><p>            “Not really,” the vague man said apologetically. “I didn’t mean to end up here. Did you mean to end up here?”</p><p>            “No,” Nicholas admitted.</p><p>            “That’s sad. For both of us.”</p><p>            He was right. “I’m Nicholas, by the way. Nice to meet you.”</p><p>            “Yes, it is,” said the voice, and Nicholas thought he heard a small, relieved smile.</p><p>            “And you are?” Nicholas prompted gently.</p><p>            “I’m…not exactly sure,” the other said.</p><p>            “Why do you…sound the way you do? If I can ask?”</p><p>            “I am…fading,” he said sadly.</p><p>            “Oh. I apologize.” Nicholas wished he could help, but he didn’t know how.</p><p>            “It is not your fault,” the voice said with tired calm. “Blame the closing of the door. Or mortal attachments. I was so fond of those.”</p><p>            “Ah,” Nicholas wasn’t sure what else to say to that. “That was a lovely song you were playing.”</p><p>            “Thank you!” the voice said with genuine joy. “I was practicing. Would you like to hear me play a song in earnest?”</p><p>            “I would,” Nicholas said. “But…do you know of a way out of here? I’m afraid I’m a bit lost.”</p><p>            “I should play you a song,” he said. “That might help.”</p><p>            It wasn’t the most unsound logic Nicholas had heard lately.</p><p>            “Thank you,” he said, and the playing took up again.</p><p>            “I forgot how…” the voice murmured, and then his sole focus was on the song. It was beautiful, and gentle, it made everything soft and pleasant and…it sort of reminded Nicholas of the way he felt before they entered Payphone’s call centre and Static Man had noticed his headphones and said “<em>Calculating as hell. I like it” </em>and Nicholas’ stomach had done things he wasn’t used to, twirling, fluttering things that he didn’t normally experience but that wasn’t unpleasant, just like the static prickling from Static Man wasn’t unpleasant, and…</p><p>            [<em>Suddenly Nicholas knew which way to go. He turned.</em>]</p><p>[<em>This time, when the whirling stopped, Nicholas gasped awake rather than landing painfully. He heard the sound right away.</em>]</p><p>            The sound of air drumming and fairly terrible beat boxing.</p><p>            The voice making those sounds was instantly familiar, and Nicholas felt safe.</p><p>            “Static Man?” he called as he got up, and this time, he could actually <em>see </em>the person talking to him. The sharp, snow-storming shape of Static Man stood out in sharp, crystallizing contrast to the white void around them.</p><p>            “What. The. Fuck?” Static Man exclaimed in surprise.</p><p>            “Hello,” Nicholas said awkwardly, giving a stupid little wave.</p><p>            “Dude.” Static Man’s shape moved closer, and static electricity danced up Nicholas’s arm. It was not a comforting sensation. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>            “I’m…lost.” Nicholas shrugged.</p><p>            Static Man coughed a laugh. “Well, no shit, Sherlock! Sorry, dude, it’s tough for me to wrap my head around this. Are you –”</p><p>            Feeling braver than usual, Nicholas smiled. “Uh, wait, are we moving past the fact that you were, like, air-drumming, to yourself?”</p><p>            “Dude. I was riffing!” Static Man declared proudly, and for a moment, they both broke into grins. Nicholas couldn’t remember the last time he felt like smiling this way. “I’m stuck here for the majority of my existence, don’t fucking judge me.”</p><p>            “I am <em>not</em> judging,” Nicholas assured with his smile not quite faded.</p><p>            “So…why, <em>how </em>the hell are you here?” Static Man asked in wonder. “I didn’t think that was possible!”</p><p>            “My blindfold fell off in Melody’s home and then–”</p><p>            “Aaand you got stuck in a liminal state, traversing the space between the realm of reality and the realm of magic?” Static Man guessed. “That scans.”</p><p>            “And I’m fairly certain Payphone is to blame.”</p><p>            “That dipshit. Screwing us over even after we killed it. Who does that?”</p><p>            “Beings with power,” Nicholas said dryly.</p><p>            “Yeah,” Static Man agreed, and then his angry tone grew softer. Softer than Nicholas had expected. “You doing ok, though?”</p><p>            The tone made Nicholas feel like perhaps it was okay to be honest. “Not particularly.”</p><p>            “Shit. I feel ya,” Static Man said. He seemed a little uncomfortable, though not judgmental. “So, listen, I don’t suppose you…brought anything with you, right?”</p><p>            “What are you– oh, Popeye’s? No, sorry.” It was a ridiculous thing to apologize for in these circumstances, but instinct made him say it anyway.</p><p>            “Worth a shot.” Static Man seemed to shrug. The teeth moved in a wave, sort of like a crowd, that Nicholas now took for a shrug. “So, my man, what’s wrong?”</p><p>            “Oh, just generalized feelings of failure and inadequacy,” Nicholas said in the same dismissive tone he always used when asked to express his feelings. “Not worth talking about.”</p><p>            “You sure?” Static Man sounded sincerely worried, and for a moment, Nicholas wanted to answer him properly. But…</p><p>            “I’d feel embarrassed talking about it,” he said apologetically.</p><p>            “Dude, you walked in on me playing the drum parts <em>to In The Air Tonight</em>.”</p><p>            Nicholas couldn’t help but laugh, and the rumble felt good in his chest. “Okay, fine.” He let his smile fade. “Uhm. So, when you got started down this path, did you think that you would eventually…?”</p><p>            “Feel powerful?” Static Man supplied when he wasn’t sure how to finish.</p><p>            “Yes!”</p><p>            “I mean, that’s what <em>I</em> thought would happen,” he replied. “And here’s the thing: I kind of <em>do</em> feel powerful. It’s like, whoa, here’s this whole other world that only a few mystical bad-asses know about. But, you know, in that world, like in our world, there’s always people who are bigger than you, waiting to fuck you over, you know? And you realize you don’t actually know a whole hell of a lot, when it comes down to it. You know?</p><p>            Nicholas swallowed. “Yes,” he said. All too well.</p><p>            “And <em>then</em> they turn you into a sentient, but sexy, orb of static and teeth that only partially exists but is <em>really</em> good at killing people. C’est la fucking vie.”</p><p>            It made Nicholas sad, to hear Static Man’s resigned despair so thinly hidden beneath his annoyed tone. Nicholas wished he could fix it.</p><p>            “Well, I suppose we just need to become powerful beings enough to change you back,” Nicholas said, and meant it.</p><p>            “Here’s to that,” Static Man said lightly. “So, you probably want a way out of here.”</p><p>            “Definitely,” Nicholas confirmed. “Christine’s probably worried about me, so…”</p><p>            “Yeah, I can make that happen.”</p><p>           “Really? Thank you,” Nicholas said, unable to help his grin. “Uh, once this is over, I will definitely get you some Popeye’s.”</p><p>            Nicholas was certain he could feel Static Man smile at him, the teeth where his face should be forming a more mouth-like shape than the others. “I’ll hold you to that. Alright, dude, hold onto your sh–”</p><p>[<em>The world started spinning before Static Man even finished.</em>]</p><p>*</p><p>            “Hey dudes!” Static Man greeted them enthusiastically when he appeared. Nicholas would have felt joy at seeing him if it wasn’t for the emergency and terror and blaring alarms “How’s it… Oh, shit, this doesn’t sound good. I’m guessing you didn’t bring me Popeye’s?</p><p>            “No time,” Christine said. “We’re at the Cult’s headquarters; they know someone’s here, we need to get to their vault, and I’m pretty sure they want to kill us.”</p><p>            “So that’s a no to the Popeye’s,” Static Man said, trying to keep the mood light as usual. Nicholas wondered why and how he always managed that.</p><p>            The compound’s alarm kept blaring.</p><p>            “Static Man, <em>please</em>, we really need your help on this,” Nicholas said.</p><p>            “My dudes, do not worry, everything’s going to be–”</p><p>            Static Man was cut off by the banging of fists against the door to the office.</p><p>            “Aleister!” came a loud shout from the door, accompanied by pounding. “If you’re in there, declare yourself!”</p><p>            “Here comes the fuzz,” Static Man pointed out.</p><p>            “Any intruders or extra-dimensional entities are warned to lie on the floor in a prone position!” they yelled from outside. “If they do not, they will be summarily executed.”</p><p>            “What do –” Christine started.</p><p>            Static Man laughed lightly. “I got this, my dudes, just get behind the desk.”</p><p>            They did as instructed without hesitation.</p><p>            “We’re coming in!” shouted one of the cult members at the door, and the pounding turned into crashing as the door burst open and they came storming in. There was a few seconds of silence.</p><p>            “What…are you…?” asked one of the cultist in confused horror.</p><p>            Static Man didn’t sound at all like himself when he leaned into his best evil villain mode and let his voice shake through the room.</p><p>            “I am the whisper on the wind; I am the ice of winter’s heart; I am the knife in the dreaming. <em>Goodbye</em>.”</p><p>            Screams erupted from the cult members, abruptly cut of by the sounds of bones breaking and meat mincing. The silence was particularly loud afterwards.</p><p>            After a moment, Chris and Nicholas emerged from the desk. Nicholas should probably be afraid of Static Man after that display, but all he felt was relief.</p><p>            “Well, we just bought a bit of time,” Static Man said. “I didn’t spatter any bone fragments on you, right? They have a habit of getting everywhere. Like glitter. Like, you open up your backpack two days later and oh shit, bone fragments, why do I–”</p><p>            “We’re fine, thank you,” Chris said.</p><p>            “Yes, thank you,” Nicholas echoed. “Uh, I’m…assuming those aren’t the last of them?”</p><p>            “Just a second,” Static Man said, and there was a raised static sound. “Alright, we’re good. There are cameras and recording equipment pretty much everywhere. It’s like some weird fetish. And you mentioned you needed to get to the vault?”</p><p>            “Yeah,” Chris nodded.</p><p>            “Take a left, then take a second right, and it should be at the end of the hallway.”</p><p>            “Thank you,” Nicholas repeated, and he allowed his eyes to linger directly on Static Man’s form again. It always made his eyes throb a little and made the side of his skull pound, but it was worth it because he was grateful and the very least Static Man deserved was to be looked at by other people once in a while. Directly, without turning away.</p><p>            “Yeah,” Static Man said thickly. “You two better be going; make use of all the confusion and shit.”</p><p>            “We owe you for this, you know that, right?” Christine asked.</p><p>            “It’s all good,” Static Man said. “Dude, Nick visited me when I was in <em>limbo</em>; we cool. Anyway, peace!”</p><p>            As was his habit, Static Man vanished before anyone could say anything more.</p><p>*</p><p>            Nicholas didn’t remember calling Static Man when he returned to the vault, but he supposed he must have. He was sitting on his knees where they’d preformed the ritual, with the shape of Static Man not-kneeling in front of him.</p><p>            Dan must have been there too, at some point, but he probably ran off already. He’d looked genuinely afraid of Nicholas before they faded from his father’s office.</p><p>            The office that still existed another realm, now a mausoleum to the dead body of his father, head crumbled to a meaty and bony pulp where Nicholas hadn’t been able to stop even after the body beneath him was dead.</p><p>            “Nicholas! Come on, dude, please talk to me.”</p><p>            Oh. He hadn’t realized Static Man was speaking.</p><p>He blinked, tried to focus. He was confused and his head pounded, but he didn’t really care. Everything felt a little distant, but he tried to push past that. He looked at Static Man and felt his mind and body slowly return to the moment.</p><p>            “Are you… You’re here, right?” Nicholas asked weakly.</p><p>            “Yeah, man,” Static Man said. He sounded relieved. “You called me.”</p><p>            Not-hands of teeth and static reached out and removed the phone still clutched in Nicholas’s hand. He hadn’t even noticed.</p><p>He did notice when Static Man’s not-hands lingered on his.</p><p>            “Are you, like, okay? Sorry, I know that’s a stupid question but–”</p><p>            “I’m okay,” Nicholas replied with practiced calm he did not feel. “Relatively.”</p><p>            He looked down at the humming, shimmering vagueness that held his hands, teeth sometimes scraping against his skin and electricity prickling through his wrist.</p><p>It was nice.</p><p>            “I beat my father to death,” Nicholas said. “He wanted my heart, my body…and he would have hurt Christine to do it, so… I took a bust he had of himself and beat him with it.”</p><p>            “Shit, Nick. That’s…”</p><p>            “And Christine didn’t want to come back with me,” he continued, voice growing thick. “She wanted to go <em>there</em>, to that place where she found the ambergris. Said there were people there who needed her. That she <em>belonged</em>. Can’t really complain; I’m certain they can give her a much more satisfying life than anything she could find here. With me.”</p><p>            “Nicholas…” Static Man didn’t say anything else, but Nicholas felt him, felt the prickles of electricity and static against his hairline when Static Man leaned his not-forehead against Nicholas’s.</p><p>            It was the most comforting sensation he had ever felt.</p><p>            Daniel Powell had called Static Man a <em>thing, </em>judged all the lives he’d taken, but who in this world hadn’t done awful things to survive? Right now, Nicholas felt like Static Man was the most real, solid person he’d ever met.</p><p>            Maybe if Static Man kept not-touching him, eventually Nicholas would remember how to be okay, how to be a functioning human again. Then they had a body to get, after all. Nicholas had called it an obligation he intended to fulfil, but he knew it was more than that.</p><p>            Until then, Nicholas remained on the floor of the vault, aching, and let Static Man offer comfort just by existing alongside him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments brings air to my lungs and joy to my heart, but thanks for reading even if you don't leave those! ♥️</p><p>You can come shriek at me about multiple fandoms on tumblr @raincs and I hope you're being kind and taking care of yourself in these hard times. Did you take your meds today? 😘</p></blockquote></div></div>
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